Letter from Lorena McClure to Fannie Swift, September 7, 1949
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| Date Written | September 7, 1949 |
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Summary
[edit]This letter, dated September 7, 1949, was written by Lorena McClure while institutionalized at Gowanda State Hospital to her daughter Fannie Swift. It was sent just two days after Lorena’s previous letter of September 5, in which she expressed hope about a possible transfer to New Jersey and her ongoing efforts to improve her situation.
In this follow-up, Lorena writes with profound unhappiness and despair after being moved without warning back to Ward 4 — a part of the hospital she had worked hard to leave previously. She describes her current environment as noisy and disorienting, and she likens herself to a "lost soul." She pleads with Fannie to visit and advocate for her and expresses doubt that she will ever improve enough to be transferred again.
This letter is considered one of the most heartbreaking in Lorena’s correspondence, reflecting a moment of deep discouragement in her long confinement.
Transcript
[edit]Wednesday, Sept. 7, 1949 Dearest Fan, I am so unhappy. I am now back up on Ward 4. It opens out to Ward 2 where I used to be. They did not let me know until the last minute. Dr. Manes did this to me. He wanted to get me on my old Ward 6. I guess I will never get into a decent place again. Please come this Thursday and see if you can help me a little bit. I tried so hard to talk to you and Howard. Why should he lie to me and tell me he is trying to get me down with him? I still have a cold. I hope I can soon work my way down to a better ward. Pray for me. I feel simply lost up here. I am way back in a little room over the office by a very noisy patient. I now have to go through a maze of rooms like a lost soul. I know how long it took me to get off this ward before. I know some of these patients. I always liked Dr. Manes. Maybe he will try to help me again. I know you are busy getting the children started to school again today. Don’t tell the children but what I am still in a school as they thought before. This is not very well expressed. I hope I can earn a single parole soon. The seventh is still unlucky for me. Love to Al, children and yourself. Your lonely mother, (Mrs.) Lorena McClure
Analysis
[edit]This letter is among the saddest of Lorena’s known correspondence. While earlier letters carried glimmers of hope, here she writes with stark despair at being moved back to Ward 4 — a place she describes as noisy, chaotic, and degrading. Her metaphor of being "like a lost soul" wandering through a "maze of rooms" captures her profound disorientation and sense of defeat.
The letter also illustrates her continued dependence on her daughter for advocacy, as well as her feelings of betrayal by others who had promised to help her. Despite this, she still expresses love and concern for Fannie’s children and asks that they not be told the truth about her circumstances — reflecting her desire to shield them from stigma.
Her final line, “The seventh is still unlucky for me,” conveys a quiet resignation to her perceived misfortune. This letter marks a low point in Lorena’s emotional journey, underscoring the toll of her years of institutionalization.
Notable mentions
[edit]- Howard – Likely a family member or advocate who had previously promised to help.
- Dr. Manes – A physician at Gowanda State Hospital involved in her reassignment.
- Ward 4 – Described by Lorena as a worse, noisier ward she had worked hard to leave.
- Fannie Swift – Her daughter and closest advocate.